". . . Uh, Caitlyn? You're pregnant. What about that post you wrote a little while back about fostering and adoption? You know, that one where you bared your soul and told people you'd asked God to close your womb. Uh, where is God?"
No one has come out and asked this question to me directly, and I don't know if it is a question that people are even wondering. However, I feel inclined to answer it. And I'll answer it bluntly.
Our desire to foster and adopt children is still very much the plan. When we found out that we were pregnant we did not also receive a memo that the orphan crisis was over and that all children had found homes. In fact, I became more aware than ever before of just how badly children need parents who love them as I dove into books about childhood PTSD and RAD.
I feel like in a society that does not value children that at least someone out there reading this thinks that I am out of my mind. A man at the grocery store recently said to me, "when I see people who look like you do now, it makes me glad that I chose to never have children." My response? "I have a water leak in my house that has destroyed my kitchen floor. My microwave is broken. My oven is broken. My AC is broken. My children are the joy of my life." Then I kissed each one of them. I wasn't hurt by his statement, just shocked, "really, you think these two beautiful boys are the reason I look frazzled?" Have you looked at the faces of the rest of the people around you, or did they not draw attention to themselves because they are not pushing a giant grocery cart with two percussion line ready boys in it, a cart that is also shaped like a race car? There is pain and suffering in everyone's face if you look for it. But, we see what we want to see.
Why do people assume, "ahhh, kids! Pain and misery!!!!" That is not how it is for us. But, there are a lot of kids in pain and misery, and our home, even with it's warped floor (PTL, all the other things are FIXED!!!!!), is still open to them.